Bedtime Stories - King Rajib and His Merry Men Part I (Malaysiakini)

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, high in the mountains, there lived a beautiful princess named Princess Syarib. Her hair was long and dark and her eyes were like a pair of rarest blue sapphires, her beauty second to none in her land.

Meanwhile, on another land, Malacedia, there lived evil and vile King Rajib and his horrible Queen Rasmah. King Rajib spent all day and all night chasing after young maidens in his land, while Queen Ramah spent all her time perfecting her deadly potions, poisons and evil spells on the suffering subjects of Malacedia.

Now it comes to the attention of King Rajib the beauty of Princess Syarib, which he could not stop thinking about. The King sent for 10 of his best soldier to kidnap the Princess from her home to make her his new wife, to which they obeyed and carried out. Unfortunately for Princess Syarib, Queen Rasmah found out about the King's doings, and in so, got her own two most ruthless minions ShyLul and Asilah to bring Princess Syarib before her.

"You, you tried to seduce my husband, tramp! For that, you shall die a long painful death. I want you to suffer, and I want you to scream until your throat bears you no more voice, until your eyes boil and until your body is melted into ashes", shrieked the wicked Queen.

Before the poor Princess could say anything to proclaim her innocence, evil Queen Rasmah had ShyLul and Asilah burn her alive while she laughed and watch with bloodthirsty glee until the Princess' last dying screams.

---

Now, a brave knight visiting the land, Sir Peterlot, happened to hear the commotion at the Palace grounds, went closer to find out what was happening, and saw the Queen standing over the Princess' body and laughing hysterically.

Sir Peterlot immediately went to see the land's Majister, Lord Augustus. Unknown to the valiant knight, Lord Augustus serves no one but the evil royal couple, for he is evil himself.

Upon hearing Knight Peterlot's complains, he nods his head and announced, "Peterlot, you have a forked tongue and you speak ill of our King and Queen. Guards, arrest this fraud. Keep him in the dungeons until he repents his actions, or until he dies. Make him eat foods which even a hog will not touch, and makes sure he suffers insufferable torture!"

By now the people of Malacedia have heard about Sir Peterlot, and everybody, men women and children of the land, rushed to the Majistarium and demanded fairness and justice. They have long known about the evil ways of their King and Queen, and have grown weary of them.

Upon sensing the danger of the crowd, the ever cunning Majister Augustus changed his stance and declared, "Peterlot, you will be tried tomorrow at noon!"

"On what charge, Majister?" asks Sir Peterlot.

"SEDITION! SEDITION! SEDITION! Now guards, lock up this lying man!" boomed the Majister.

---

The next day, at noon.....
"Peterlot son of Kamal, you have been charged with SEDITION! You have lied and said nasty things about our beloved King Rajib and Queen Ramah! How do you plea, you little insect?"
asked the Majister

"NOT GUILTY, Majister. I know what I saw, and what I saw was the Queen murdering Princess in cold bl...."

"SEDITION!!! SEDITION!!! There is no truth in that statement, Peterlot!" interrupted the Majister.

"How do you know the King and Queen are innocent, Majister?" asked Sir Peterlot.

"Because he is the King and she is the Queen. They are honorable people," retorted the Majister.

"Did you ask them?" questioned the brave knight.

"No," answered the Majister proudly.

"Then I put it to you that whatever the King and Queen say is not important?" asked Sir Peterlot.

"Of course it's important, you little twit. Do not twist my words," cursed the Majister.

"Majister, you as the upholder of Justice in the Land, should you not be impartial, fair and fearless? Should you then, at least, ask the King and Queen if they had cruely murdered anybody" asked Sir Peterlot.

"But of course I am a fair person! But the King and Queen is above the law!" the Majister, clearly agitated, again shouted.

"Nobody is above the law!!!" declared Sir Peterlot bravely. The crowd cheered and cheered.

"SILENCE! This is SEDITION! Do all of you understand? SEDITION, SEDITION, SEDITION!!! Guards, put this man back into jail!!! Throw him to the dogs!" bellowed Majister Augustus, red faced and full of hatred.

As the guards start to grab Sir Peterlot's arms, the crowd, the honorable people of Malacedia, feuled on by extreme anger, starts to move forward towards the Majisterium, towards Majister Augustus.....


... to be continued

Note:
The above story is a pure work of fiction. Resemblences to any person living, dead or dying (or on Botox), is coincidental.



Meanwhile, here's some news on what's happening in the real world, which has totally nothing to do with what you just read :P


http://www.malaysiakini.com/news/98022

RPK's sedition trial: Najib in the limelight

Pathmawathy Subramaniam | Feb 10, 09 7:50pm

An investigating officer of the murdered Mongolian Altantuya Shaariibuu case today admitted that deputy prime Minster Najib Abdul Razak was not investigated even though he was an important witness. However the revelations of assistant director of the Interpol National Centre Bureau Gan Tack Guan did not come at the Altantuya murder trial. Instead he was a witness at the sedition trial of popular blogger Raja Petra Kamarudin at the Petaling Jaya Session Court. Raja Petra is facing trial for the alleged seditious article entitled 'Let's send the Altantuya murderers to hell' which was posted on the Malaysia Today Gan was testifying today after failing to show up on two previous occasions. The police officer was the one who lodged a police report on Raja Petra after reading the article on April 30. He is also the chief investigating officer in the murder trial of Altantuya. In his testimony today he agreed that Najib's name was mentioned in the said article and admitted that the deputy prime minister was an "important witness". website on April 25.

---


http://www.malaysiakini.com/news/98090

RPK seeks to disqualify Augustine Paul

Hafiz Yatim | Feb 11, 09 6:38pm

Blogger Raja Petra Kamarudin wants Federal Court judge S. Augustine Paul to be disqualified from hearing the prosecution's appeal over his release under the Internal Security Act detention and his cross-appeal application. MCPX Lawyer Malik Imtiaz Sarwar, in seeking a postponement to today's hearing at the apex court, said he had just received instructions from Raja Petra to ask for Paul's recusal. "We will file a written application tomorrow."

Jumping the Gun

What is Jumping the Gun?

Jumping the Gun (JTG) is an infectious disease caused by a parasite, Egocentria, which infects red blood cells, white blood cells, and especially the brain cells. JTG is characterized by cycles of chills, fever, incohesive ramblings and inability to recognize one's position in a team, and the desire to hemorrhage at random one's thoughts to the Press / Media without due consideration to its effects and implications.

Historical records suggest JTG has infected humans since the beginning of mankind. It is worthwile however, to note, JTG is especially prevailant in Politicians.

Currently, there is a massive outbreak of JTG in the Malaysian political scene, especially with Pakatan Rakyat (People's Alliance Party) leaders and some prominent bloggers. Latest victims include Karpal Singh and Raja Petra Kamarudin (editor of Malaysia Today). Another JTG victim was prominent PAS leader Husam Musa with his infamous Hudud ramblings on live TV a few months back.

The name "Egocentria" (meaning "Selfish Bugger" in English + Latin ) was first used in English in 2009 by Dr. BNMustgo when describing the disease.

Some of the other known common names of JTG around the world (or similar deseases):

• Verbal Diarrhea
  
• Foot in Mouth Disease
• Talking Through Anus Habit
  
• Blowing Trumpet Disease
  
• Tai-Chi Blame Stance Disease
  
• I-CAN-DO-NO-WRONG Disease
  

How is JTG transmitted and the variants?

The life cycle of the Egocentria parasite is complicated and the disease is transmitted to humans when usually somebody who is promiment in a society wishes to distant himself/herself from the collective failings of his/her team, and is unwilling to take the collective responsibility. The medium of transmission is still unknown at this stage, but it is wildly believed to be bad upbringing.

Recent mutations to the parasite have dawned new variants, called Egocentria Maximus 8.2.2009 and 9.2.2009 . The basic symptoms are still the same, but both Maximus variants features new deadly symptoms, such as the need to sue Royals and asking various political leaders to quit for no apparent reason.

When is JTG a particular problem?

JTG usually causes major disarray within a team (again, usually a political party or a political alliance). It destroys years of hardwork by the majority of the team members, and since JTG is most prevailant during times of crisis, it can further deepend the problem and alienate supporters.

How is JTG treated?

Three main factors determine treatments: the infecting species of Egocentria parasite, the clinical situation of the patient (for example, adult, child, or pregnant female with either mild or severe JTG), and the drug susceptibility of the infecting parasites. Drug susceptibility is determined by the geographic area where the infection was acquired. Different areas of the world have JTG types that are resistant to certain medications. The correct drugs for each type of JTG must be prescribed by a doctor who is familiar with JTG treatment protocols. Since people infected with JTG can die (often because of delayed treatment), immediate treatment is necessary.

Typically, the drug for JTG is supportive in nature, and usually a few Prozacs should solve the situation. However, for long term treatment and to ensure no recurring Egocentria attacks, we strongly recommend the new drug ShutTheFcukUp (STFU).